2. Dick Felt
3. Destinee Hooker
4. Rusty Kuntz
5. Dean Windass
6. Kim Yoo Suck
7. Misty Hyman
8. Dong Dong
9. Steve Sharts
10. Bernt Haas
Monday, 29 July 2013
10 Most Unfortunate Names in Sport
1. Yoshi Takeshita
2. Dick Felt
3. Destinee Hooker
4. Rusty Kuntz
5. Dean Windass
6. Kim Yoo Suck
7. Misty Hyman
8. Dong Dong
9. Steve Sharts
10. Bernt Haas
2. Dick Felt
3. Destinee Hooker
4. Rusty Kuntz
5. Dean Windass
6. Kim Yoo Suck
7. Misty Hyman
8. Dong Dong
9. Steve Sharts
10. Bernt Haas
Monday, 22 July 2013
Amanda Bynes' 10 (and then some) Wackiest Tweets About Her Nose Job And Plastic Surgery
This is a problem! It seems that she got bored being in surgery and she just walked out of the room with a broken nose.
Who doesn't hate taking pictures with a broken nose? This woman knows what she's talking about.
Amanda has a positive look with her surgical procedures and won't stop until she feels good about herself. Now if only she would apply that tactic in getting back on track.
That's our girl!
And we love you Amanda Bynes!
Poor Amanda! This makes us sad that she will go long lengths to change for a man. She seems to be a lost little soul. Who doesn't want to walk up to her and give her a hug?
Maybe this is a sign?
First the nose, now the whole face, is this an surgery addiction problem now?
We're glad that Bynes made it out ok. Surgeries are not fun and essentially put your life in danger every time you're under the knife.
Too bad their isn't surgery to help this lost soul find her glorious path again.
We don't think Amanda was ever ugly. We all remember how cute she was on "All That," remember?
If only a surgery could fix this...
Monday, 15 July 2013
10 Unsettling Truths “The Lion King” Glossed Over
1. Simba might have been Scar’s kid.
Dude lions are ejected from their natal prides around three and wander the wastes as nomads, either alone or with their brothers. Until one fateful day they think, “This is bullshit,” and usurp a neighboring pride with a weak male. Coalitions tend to have larger territories and more kids because they can split procreation and patrol duty and sorry there’s no lion Maury so we’re just taking Sarabi’s word for it.
2. Mufasa was only king of his own deluded mind.
Lion society is matriarchal. The lioness motto seems to be, “Hey if it keeps the babysitter happy, we’ll call him King Dopplepopolis, Emperor of Oz.” Males have the illusion of power while women run the show. They do the hunting, establish hierarchy and generally call the shots while the male(s) patrol the borders and patiently wait for a female to deign to mate with his lowly ass.
3. Scar was getting all the sexy times.
A black mane is the lion equivalent of dat ass. The older a male gets, the darker his mane gets. A sexy black mane equals a fine specimen of DNA that has survived lots of fights and makes great father material. And with Mufasa playing “monogamous human” with Sarabi, the rest of the pride still had needs if you know what I’m saying.
4. Mufasa was a lying liar that lies.
According to Simba’s father, “Everything the light touches is our kingdom.” According to hard facts, a lion’s territory ranges from 11–50 square miles with an occasional badass holding up to 100 square miles. So go ahead, Simba. Head across the river and tell the local pride your daddy claims this land for Pride Rock, see how that goes.
5. Murder is an occupational hazard, whatever.
Having copious amounts of sex, free food, and others perks of a pride is a sweet gig in high demand. Two or three years is considered a good run before being ousted (aka straight-up murdered) by younger challengers. As far as the ladies are concerned, all dicks look the same at the end of the day. Scar’s Machiavellian methods were clearly for his own amusement instead of actual subterfuge.
6. There’s no such thing as a bloodless coup.
Hey isn’t it weird that Simba and Nala are the only two cubs in this huge community? Brace yourselves. When a lion is killed or exiled, the newcomers don’t want to be saddled some old geezer’s kids… yep. Mufasa and Scar totally went Darth Vader and killed the younglings to throw all the lionesses back into heat. Suddenly casual fratricide isn’t looking so harsh.
7. Simba and Nala are siblings.
In a pride, all the lionesses are related. Female cubs stay with their mothers to form an extended family of sisters, aunts, and cousins, with boys sent off to find their own way because if you breed with your brother-cousin, you’re going to have a bad time. And since she wasn’t killed during Scar’s takeover, it’s safe to say we found her dad.
8. To recap, this is his sister. Or cousin. Or both.
If you just tried to justify this, you can never judge Jaime and Cersei Lannister again.
9. This is Simba’s true fate.
Say a young male lion escapes the purge when his dad is replaced in a pride. Exile is the other option. However, without his mom or sisters to hunt for him teach him to hunt, starvation or falling prey to other large predators is a certainty. Sorry guys, but Timon and Pumbaa are angels. Simba’s dead.
10. Bonus! Rafiki is an abomination against nature.
Though called a baboon (left) and have the coloring and tail to go with it, that is clearly a Mandrill (right) face. What the hell is going on here? Did some scientist recreate Face-Off to make a super-intelligent, artistic monkey hybrid and then unleash it onto the unsuspecting lion populace to trick them into ritualistic inbreeding? Face it, that’s the only logical explanation.
Dude lions are ejected from their natal prides around three and wander the wastes as nomads, either alone or with their brothers. Until one fateful day they think, “This is bullshit,” and usurp a neighboring pride with a weak male. Coalitions tend to have larger territories and more kids because they can split procreation and patrol duty and sorry there’s no lion Maury so we’re just taking Sarabi’s word for it.
2. Mufasa was only king of his own deluded mind.
Lion society is matriarchal. The lioness motto seems to be, “Hey if it keeps the babysitter happy, we’ll call him King Dopplepopolis, Emperor of Oz.” Males have the illusion of power while women run the show. They do the hunting, establish hierarchy and generally call the shots while the male(s) patrol the borders and patiently wait for a female to deign to mate with his lowly ass.
3. Scar was getting all the sexy times.
A black mane is the lion equivalent of dat ass. The older a male gets, the darker his mane gets. A sexy black mane equals a fine specimen of DNA that has survived lots of fights and makes great father material. And with Mufasa playing “monogamous human” with Sarabi, the rest of the pride still had needs if you know what I’m saying.
4. Mufasa was a lying liar that lies.
According to Simba’s father, “Everything the light touches is our kingdom.” According to hard facts, a lion’s territory ranges from 11–50 square miles with an occasional badass holding up to 100 square miles. So go ahead, Simba. Head across the river and tell the local pride your daddy claims this land for Pride Rock, see how that goes.
5. Murder is an occupational hazard, whatever.
Having copious amounts of sex, free food, and others perks of a pride is a sweet gig in high demand. Two or three years is considered a good run before being ousted (aka straight-up murdered) by younger challengers. As far as the ladies are concerned, all dicks look the same at the end of the day. Scar’s Machiavellian methods were clearly for his own amusement instead of actual subterfuge.
6. There’s no such thing as a bloodless coup.
Hey isn’t it weird that Simba and Nala are the only two cubs in this huge community? Brace yourselves. When a lion is killed or exiled, the newcomers don’t want to be saddled some old geezer’s kids… yep. Mufasa and Scar totally went Darth Vader and killed the younglings to throw all the lionesses back into heat. Suddenly casual fratricide isn’t looking so harsh.
7. Simba and Nala are siblings.
In a pride, all the lionesses are related. Female cubs stay with their mothers to form an extended family of sisters, aunts, and cousins, with boys sent off to find their own way because if you breed with your brother-cousin, you’re going to have a bad time. And since she wasn’t killed during Scar’s takeover, it’s safe to say we found her dad.
8. To recap, this is his sister. Or cousin. Or both.
If you just tried to justify this, you can never judge Jaime and Cersei Lannister again.
9. This is Simba’s true fate.
Say a young male lion escapes the purge when his dad is replaced in a pride. Exile is the other option. However, without his mom or sisters to hunt for him teach him to hunt, starvation or falling prey to other large predators is a certainty. Sorry guys, but Timon and Pumbaa are angels. Simba’s dead.
10. Bonus! Rafiki is an abomination against nature.
Though called a baboon (left) and have the coloring and tail to go with it, that is clearly a Mandrill (right) face. What the hell is going on here? Did some scientist recreate Face-Off to make a super-intelligent, artistic monkey hybrid and then unleash it onto the unsuspecting lion populace to trick them into ritualistic inbreeding? Face it, that’s the only logical explanation.
Monday, 8 July 2013
10 things only Chef Gordon Ramsay can get away with
1. Screaming his face off literally every five minutes.
2. Calling someone a panini head.
3. Falling asleep at a restaurant because his order was taking too long.
4. Expressing profound disappointment in the state of almost every kitchen.
5. And pretty much all disgusting food.
6. And whatever this is.
7. And this.
8. And basically just feeling personally insulted about every shitty, disgusting kitchen he’s ever been in.
9. Praying that he won’t be poisoned…
10. Telling a chef that they’re the reason his pubes are turning gray.
Monday, 1 July 2013
10 Life Lessons From "Calvin And Hobbes"
1. How to flirt
2. Rules are always optional
3. Girls are actually better at math
4. Dealing with bullies
5. Snowmen have feelings, too
6. Understanding women
8. Healthy eating
9. How to write a great letter to Santa
10. How stuff works
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