Thursday 28 July 2011
Top 10 Strange Town Names from the UK
1. Anton's Gout, Lincolnshire.
2. Balls Cross, West Sussex.
3. Black Car, near Wymondham, Norfolk.
4. Booby Dingle, near Hay-on-Wye, Herefordshire.
5. Buttock Point, Isle of Bute.
6. Clock Face, near St. Helen's, Merseyside.
7. Dirt Pot, Allendale, Northumberland.
8. Elephant and Castle, South London.
9. Mousehole, near Penzance, Cornwall.
10. World's End, west of Birmingham, near Newbury.
Tuesday 26 July 2011
Top 10 Funny Facebook status updates
1. Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
2. I went to buy a ‘Where’s Wally’ book. When I got there, I couldn’t find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played.
3. Why does Facebook bother to give the option of “liking” my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I’m awesome.
4. So long...Farewell...Aufwidersehen Goodbyeeeee....One way ticket to Singapore for work, hopefully I won't be arrested and thrown out...otherwise I'll be back sooner than first thought.
5. Sad to see Borders closing, it was a neat place to hang out before going home and buying books off Amazon.
6. I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she’s been giving me lately!
7. When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
8. To all of Chris' friends: This is his Father. My son carelessly left his account logged in so I decided to snoop around. Upon reading my son's personal information, I would like to clear a few things up. My son is not a "gansta", he will not "beat a ho's ass" and he will most certainly not "roll a fatty wit his boyz". So for all of those who believe he is some hard ass thug, think again...He is Chris, a 15 year old kid that was afraid of the dark until he was 12 and cried at the end of Marley and Me.
9. Yo Mama so fat, she using Google +++.
10. Casey Anthony has been offered a porn role. She should just do it, and then tell everyone she didn't, because apparently that works.
2. I went to buy a ‘Where’s Wally’ book. When I got there, I couldn’t find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played.
3. Why does Facebook bother to give the option of “liking” my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I’m awesome.
4. So long...Farewell...Aufwidersehen Goodbyeeeee....One way ticket to Singapore for work, hopefully I won't be arrested and thrown out...otherwise I'll be back sooner than first thought.
5. Sad to see Borders closing, it was a neat place to hang out before going home and buying books off Amazon.
6. I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she’s been giving me lately!
7. When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
8. To all of Chris' friends: This is his Father. My son carelessly left his account logged in so I decided to snoop around. Upon reading my son's personal information, I would like to clear a few things up. My son is not a "gansta", he will not "beat a ho's ass" and he will most certainly not "roll a fatty wit his boyz". So for all of those who believe he is some hard ass thug, think again...He is Chris, a 15 year old kid that was afraid of the dark until he was 12 and cried at the end of Marley and Me.
9. Yo Mama so fat, she using Google +++.
10. Casey Anthony has been offered a porn role. She should just do it, and then tell everyone she didn't, because apparently that works.
Wednesday 20 July 2011
Top 10 Harry Potter spells one could use
1. Accio (Summoning Charm)
What it does: This charm summons an object to the caster, potentially over a significant distance.
Usage: Best way to find the remote.
2. Alohomora
What it does: Used to open and/or unlock doors.
Usage: Lost car keys? No problem!
3. Confringo (Blasting Curse)
What it does: Causes anything that the spell meets to explode in flames.
Usage: Become an instant party hit.
4. Disillusionment Charm
What it does: Causes the target to become invisible, or close to it.
Usage: Perfect for when the in-laws visit.
5. Episkey
What it does: Used to heal relatively minor injuries. When this spell is cast, the person feels his/her injured body part go very hot and then very cold.
Usage: Fix yourself up without going to the doctor!
6. Flying Charm
What it does: Cast on broomsticks to make them fly.
Usage: Two words - flying cars!
7. Glisseo
What it does: Causes the steps on a stairway to flatten and form a ramp or slide.
Usage: Imagine all the fun that could be had in offices and malls?
8. Hair-Thickening Charm
What it does: Thickens one's hair.
Usage: Balding problems can be a thing of the past.
9. Legilimens
What it does: Allows the caster to delve into the mind of the victim, allowing the caster to see the memories, thoughts, and emotions of the victim.
Usage: Maybe then we will know what is going on in the minds of the opposite sex. Maybe...
10. Point Me (Four-Point Spell)
What it does: Causes the caster's wand tip to point to the north cardinal point, acting like a compass.
Usage: So even if we do get 'lost', no one can nag us to ask for directions.
What it does: This charm summons an object to the caster, potentially over a significant distance.
Usage: Best way to find the remote.
2. Alohomora
What it does: Used to open and/or unlock doors.
Usage: Lost car keys? No problem!
3. Confringo (Blasting Curse)
What it does: Causes anything that the spell meets to explode in flames.
Usage: Become an instant party hit.
4. Disillusionment Charm
What it does: Causes the target to become invisible, or close to it.
Usage: Perfect for when the in-laws visit.
5. Episkey
What it does: Used to heal relatively minor injuries. When this spell is cast, the person feels his/her injured body part go very hot and then very cold.
Usage: Fix yourself up without going to the doctor!
6. Flying Charm
What it does: Cast on broomsticks to make them fly.
Usage: Two words - flying cars!
7. Glisseo
What it does: Causes the steps on a stairway to flatten and form a ramp or slide.
Usage: Imagine all the fun that could be had in offices and malls?
8. Hair-Thickening Charm
What it does: Thickens one's hair.
Usage: Balding problems can be a thing of the past.
9. Legilimens
What it does: Allows the caster to delve into the mind of the victim, allowing the caster to see the memories, thoughts, and emotions of the victim.
Usage: Maybe then we will know what is going on in the minds of the opposite sex. Maybe...
10. Point Me (Four-Point Spell)
What it does: Causes the caster's wand tip to point to the north cardinal point, acting like a compass.
Usage: So even if we do get 'lost', no one can nag us to ask for directions.
Monday 18 July 2011
Top 10 Bond Babe puns
1. Jinx Johnson (Halle Berry) in Die Another Day. "Oh, I’ll always be a jinx to you."
2. Honey Ryder (Ursula Andress) in Dr. No. "I put a black widow spider underneath his mosquito net... A female, they're the worst."
3. Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen) in GoldenEye. "Once again, the pleasure was all yours."
4. Tiffany Case (Jill St John) in Diamonds are Forever . "Go blow up your pants!"
5. Wai Lin (Michelle Yeoh) in Tomorrow Never Dies. "Still interested in hostile takeovers?"
6. Anya Amasova (Barbara Bach) in The Spy Who Loved Me. While discussing survival tactics: “When necessary, shared bodily warmth.”
7. Pussy Galore (Honor Blackman) in Goldfinger. "Oh, I never carry weapons after business hours... I'm completely defenseless. "
8. Octopussy (Maud Adams) in Octopussy. While Bond was in traction: "I wish you weren't in such a weakened condition."
9. Vesper Lynd (Eva Green) in Casino Royale. "I'm the money."
10. Holly Goodhead (Lois Chiles) in Moonraker. "Take me 'round the world one more time."
2. Honey Ryder (Ursula Andress) in Dr. No. "I put a black widow spider underneath his mosquito net... A female, they're the worst."
3. Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen) in GoldenEye. "Once again, the pleasure was all yours."
4. Tiffany Case (Jill St John) in Diamonds are Forever . "Go blow up your pants!"
5. Wai Lin (Michelle Yeoh) in Tomorrow Never Dies. "Still interested in hostile takeovers?"
6. Anya Amasova (Barbara Bach) in The Spy Who Loved Me. While discussing survival tactics: “When necessary, shared bodily warmth.”
7. Pussy Galore (Honor Blackman) in Goldfinger. "Oh, I never carry weapons after business hours... I'm completely defenseless. "
8. Octopussy (Maud Adams) in Octopussy. While Bond was in traction: "I wish you weren't in such a weakened condition."
9. Vesper Lynd (Eva Green) in Casino Royale. "I'm the money."
10. Holly Goodhead (Lois Chiles) in Moonraker. "Take me 'round the world one more time."
Thursday 14 July 2011
Top 10 stupid things people say when drunk
1. Drunk man: I slept with your mother!
Kid: Shut up Dad, you’re drunk!
2. Drunk picks up a pineapple: I know you're in there Spongebob!
3. Drunk: I love you guys.
4. Police officer: Sir have you been drinking tonight?
Drunk: No occifer.
Police officer: Papers?
Drunk: Scissors, I win!
5. Drunk: Why does this vodka taste like water now?
6. Drunk: I am going to prove to you I'm not drunk by having another beer.
7. Police officer: Did you know you were weaving?
Drunk: Weaving? I don't even knit!
8. Drunk: Hey, do you like think that fish know that they're wet?
9. Drunk: Take me drunk, I'm home
10. Drunk: I think I am going to throw up!
Kid: Shut up Dad, you’re drunk!
2. Drunk picks up a pineapple: I know you're in there Spongebob!
3. Drunk: I love you guys.
4. Police officer: Sir have you been drinking tonight?
Drunk: No occifer.
Police officer: Papers?
Drunk: Scissors, I win!
5. Drunk: Why does this vodka taste like water now?
6. Drunk: I am going to prove to you I'm not drunk by having another beer.
7. Police officer: Did you know you were weaving?
Drunk: Weaving? I don't even knit!
8. Drunk: Hey, do you like think that fish know that they're wet?
9. Drunk: Take me drunk, I'm home
10. Drunk: I think I am going to throw up!
Monday 11 July 2011
Top 10 Horror Film Taglines
1. "You'll wish it were only a nightmare..." Friday the 13th (1980)
2. "We Dare You to Say His Name Five Times" Candyman (1992)
3. "They're here..." Poltergeist (1982)
4. "If Nancy Doesn't Wake Up Screaming, She Won't Wake Up At All..." A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
5. "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." The Shining (1980)
6. "Now Freddy's a daddy, he's killing for two." A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989)
7. "Eight legs, two fangs, and an attitude." Arachnophobia (1990)
8. "Be afraid. Be very afraid." The Fly (1986)
9. "Don't Answer The Phone. Don't Open The Door. Don't Try To Escape." and "Someone has taken their love of scary movies one step too far. Solving this mystery is going to be murder." Scream (1996)
10. "The classic story about a boy and his mother." Psycho (1998)
2. "We Dare You to Say His Name Five Times" Candyman (1992)
3. "They're here..." Poltergeist (1982)
4. "If Nancy Doesn't Wake Up Screaming, She Won't Wake Up At All..." A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
5. "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." The Shining (1980)
6. "Now Freddy's a daddy, he's killing for two." A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989)
7. "Eight legs, two fangs, and an attitude." Arachnophobia (1990)
8. "Be afraid. Be very afraid." The Fly (1986)
9. "Don't Answer The Phone. Don't Open The Door. Don't Try To Escape." and "Someone has taken their love of scary movies one step too far. Solving this mystery is going to be murder." Scream (1996)
10. "The classic story about a boy and his mother." Psycho (1998)
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